It never last!

I look back at the last four years in wonder and amazement. Four years ago I was in a Homeless Shelter in Minnesota fighting sickness and despair and mental illness, alone and lonely. Today I am living in Columbia S.C where it is much warmer, and I’m married to a wonderful and patient wife.

When I was homeless I was surrounded by people that had gave up. I seldom heard anyone talk about their hopes or dreams for the future. I refused to give up. The main reason I didn’t quit was because I met a woman online that I talked to constantly. For some reason she cared about me enough to arrange for me to leave Minnesota and fly to South Carolina to be with her. This past September we celebrated or first year wedding anniversary.

The point is, never give up, keep on trucking until you get through it. The darkness never last.


Writer’s Envy

I envy writers like Neil Gaiman and Stephen King. Where do they come up with their ideas? Writing for me is hard, but once I get an idea I can come up with a plot and characters. Prolific writers fascinate me. I would love to sit down with them with a notepad and a pot of coffee and pick their brains.

I keep a dream journal, rarely do stories come from my dreams, not anything that I want to share publicly anyway. Maybe I should lurk at Bus Terminals and Libraries, take notes and make up stories about the people I observe. That might not be a bad idea, come to think of it.

I just keep plugging away, I will be a published writer some day.

Where it all started

I had always dreamed of being a writer, a lack of self-confidence and other things always held me back. Several years ago I was working as a Security Guard and a Bus Terminal in St. Petersburg Florida and just for laughs I started to post my observations and commentary on what I was seeing and hearing. I would post to Facebook with my iPhone. My post built up a following and I soon bought a notebook and started taking notes. My plan was to write a fictionalized story around the absurdities I witnessed every day.  I might still write a story about the Terminal someday, but for now I will write about other things.

Sometime later, I finally got the nerve to participate in the Terrible Minds flash fiction challenges, the stories I wrote are posted on this blog. They are pretty awful but, I had to start somewhere. I learn something new every time I write I just keep plugging away at it.


The first Draft Part 2

   Almost five thousand words written and I’m finally getting to the story I wanted to tell in the first place.  I will keep writing but, I will probably trash the first five thousand words, most of them anyway; and build up the remainder. I just enjoy the process of writing. The whole process of writing fascinates me. The Character and scene building and all the other elements that go into a story. I enjoy all of it, except dialogue, I hate writing dialogue. Perhaps hate is too strong of a word. I just don’t have confidence in my dialogue writing.

The first draft

There is a quote attributed to Ernest Hemingway that “All first drafts are shit.” I have to repeat this quote repeatedly every time I write anything. I am at almost five thousand words and I have to fight the urge to delete the whole thing. It is well and truly awful. I do much better with short stories; but, I want to write a novel. The funny thing is that I am finally getting to the story that I want to write. I guess I can finish the draft and delete half of it and see how that works out. I just want to be published before I die. I don’t care if I never earn a dime from my writing. I just want too do quality work. I’m fifty- eight years old and I want to leave something readable behind before I go.

The Novice

I have been an avid reader my whole life and secretly I always have had the dream to write stories. As is typical for me, I started out trying to write a novel, with predictable results. I then switched to short stories. I subscribed to The Terrible Minds Blog and I wrote and posted several stories to the Flash Fiction challenges. Posting these stories and the encouragement of my Instructors has gone a long way in building my confidence. My main problem is discipline, just getting in the chair and writing is hard. I can’t understand why, to write and be published is all I dream about. I just keep plugging away though. to stubborn to quit.


The Writing Course

My Wife signed me up for an online writing course, which I completed with some really good grades. I still have issues with grammar and punctuation but I’m learning. My Instructors all believe that I have a talent for writing. I received very high grades for most of my stories.

I am currently working on my Memoirs. People I talk to are fascinated by my story about being Homeless and meeting my wife on Facebook. My goal is to improve my writing skills and get published. I also plan to rewrite the stories I submitted in class and submit for publication.  Pretty awesome for a man that was homeless and in Shelters a little over a year ago.

The first day

“Rise and shine, Get up, I need those blankets.” The lights suddenly came on and goons were screaming. It felt like I had just fell asleep and they were already rousting us to get up. I wonder what blanket they are talking about as I grab my overnight bag and head to the toilets.

I wait in line to pee and shave and follow the crowd to the same lobby area I entered just a few hours earlier. I get a cup of coffee and some Oatmeal served by volunteers. I stand with a back to a wall clutching the handle of my overnight bag. “Clear the lobby, everyone out of the building.” The Goons scream, I head outside, still so sleepy that I can’t think straight. ” What do I do now?” I wonder, I head back to my truck and fall asleep.

I wake up hours later, early afternoon. I head to the lobby to use the john. ” May I help you?” The security woman asked unkindly, looking at me with contempt. ” I need to use the john.” i answered. “We’re closed.” she dismisses me by turning back to whatever she was reading. “I really need to go!” I pleaded. “We’re closed.” she answered her eyes dead of all compassion. I head out to find a Restroom in a City I know nothing about.

The Manager of an Auto Parts store lets me use the Restroom, When I finish, I thank him profusely and head back to my truck and sleep the rest of the day.

I wake up late that afternoon and grab my bag and head back in to see about dinner.

A bad night

It was Halloween night I had been awake for over twenty-four hours and I was hopelessly lost, when my pickup sputtered and ran out of gas right in the middle of a highway. I got out to try to push it to the shoulder and almost got run over, with a muttered curse, I got back in the truck and waited

“Thank you God!” I whispered when the flashing lights appeared behind me. The highway Patrolman walked up to the side of my truck as I rolled down my window. ” what are you doing sitting in the middle of the Highway?” he asked incredulously. “I ran out of gas and I’m totally lost.”Let’s get you to the shoulder.” I put the truck in neutral and guide the F-150 to the shoulder as the cop pushes.  Safely out of the way of the speeding Halloween revelers the Cop again is at my window. “What are we going to do about this? “I don’t know,” I replied. “I’m out of money, been awake over twenty-four hours, I’m lost and just don’t know what to do. ” hold on, let me make some phone calls. With that, he walks back to his Patrol car.

I rolled down the window when I saw him walking toward my truck. ” how much money do you have?” I pulled out my wallet and give him the last three dollars to my name. ” he took the money from my hand and added a few dollars from his wallet as the Tow-truck pulled in front of my pickup.

I listened tiredly as they put a few dollars worth of gas in my tank. When he was finished, the Tow-truck Driver wished the cop a safe night and drove off.   The cop hands me a map to the Salvation army and wishes me luck. I thank him profusely and with a fist-bump I drive off.

Felix’s Wild Ride












Felix’s wild ride

















Felix tries to ignore the doorbell and his wife’s screaming as he hurriedly gets Dinner prepared. “Felix”, his wife screams from the couch, “ I’m so hungry, where is my Dinner?” Will you answer the fucking door, before I get up and beat your ass, Please!” Felix chokes down the laugh, at over five hundred pounds, and climbing , his lovely Wife can’t do anything on her own. Felix quickly loads a plate and carries it to her waiting Maw, then he runs to answer the door.

The Doorbell rings incessantly, interrupted by a fist beating on the door, “ I’m coming, I’m coming,” Felix screams as he struggles with the deadbolt and chains, He throws the door open and stares, stunned by the erection that suddenly appears. “ Hello Felix.” She purrs seductively. Standing in the doorway is a six foot tall redhead with an hour glass figure. She is wearing a black Spandex jumpsuit that is so tight that it leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination. She is Beautiful, so beautiful that Felix’s mind just stops, and Hormones take over. “ How can I help you?” he Stammers, and how do you know my name?” “ I know a lot about you Felix, I’m hear to help you, I want to take you away, fulfill your wildest fantasies and make you very happy; but first, you have to pay the price.” Felix starts to sweat as the Woman slowly unzips the jumpsuit exposing her ample cleavage. Somehow a large revolver appears in her other hand.










“What price? And what are you doing with that gun?” Felix stutters nervously. The Woman licks her lips slowly and whispers, “ You know you want to do it Felix, you hate her, don’t you? Felix vigorously shakes his head in denial. “ I Love my Wife, I could never hurt her.” Before Felix can say anything else, his Wife Screams, “ Felix, goddamnit, I’m hungry, you better get this plate and bring me another plateful of that crap you served me, don’t make me get up and beat your Ass, you Pussy.” Felix cringes as the Redhead laughs, “a Marriage made in Heaven; look Felix, I am offering you freedom and pleasures that you secretly have fantasized about your whole Life’ but, you have to take the first step. Just hold the gun tightly in both hands and walk up to that screaming fat Bitch and put two or three rounds in her Face, I promise that you won’t regret it.” The redhead hands the gun to Felix and scolds, “come on Felix, grow a pair, be a man for once in your life.” Felix grabs the gun in both hands and stands there, “ I can’t, I will die in Prison, murder is wrong.” The Redhead shakes her head, “ we have plans for you, you won’t die in Prison, trust me, just kill her and get in the car. The Redhead unzips the Jumpsuit a little more, Felix’s eyes are again drawn to the exposed cleavage, “Felix.” His Wife screams again, “ I will fuck you up if you don’t get that plateful of food I here now, you Lazy piece of Shit.”




“Come on, Felix,” the Redhead whispers. “I will let you do things She never would let you do, I can get as kinky as you want me too be, I will deny you nothing, just kill her and get in the car.” Felix cringes at the sound of something breaking in the Living Room, his Wife is breaking things and screaming in Rage. Larry looks at the Redhead and pictures all the things he can too her, he looks behind her at the Rolls Royce she came in, Chauffer silently waiting by the backdoor, He walks into the living Room to his screaming Wife, hands shaking, he raises the gun and puts two rounds in her face. The House rings with the echo of the gunshots as Felix looks at the gore on the wall with morbid fascination. He drops the gun on the floor, then as if in a trance, he slowly follows the Redhead to the Rolls.












As Felix and the Redhead settle in their seats, the Redhead hands him a glass of champagne and whispers, “ drink this and lean back Baby, she unzips his fly and bends over, a few minutes later, a panting Felix gasps, “ What do you want me too do now?” Silently, the redhead pulls a think leather Book and a large knife, impossibly fast, she grabs Felix’s wrist and slices it open, she thin pulls out a feather pen and sticks the end in the gushing Blood, “Sign the Book, and all your Dreams will come true.” Felix can’t think straight, all he can think about is her hand stroking him. He takes the pen and signs.

She looks at the Signature in satisfaction, the closes the book and takes the pen from Felix, then she tells him to take off his clothes. “in the car? What about the driver?” he asks, before she answers, the Redhead unzips the jumpsuit and peels it off, Felix has never stripped naked so fast in his life, minutes later, nothing else matters to Felix as the pleasure mounts, his eyes close in ecstasy, he opens them and screams as the pleasure turns to pain as the Succubus slowly drains the spirit from his body, when she is sated, she un-straddles the dead man and sighs in contentment as his body turns to dust.

“That was fun, Master, I’m ready for more.” Without turning around, the driver nods and replies. Our next Passenger likes Effeminate men.” With just a thought, the succubus transforms into a lisping, limp wristed Gay Man. Driver and Passenger laugh as the head to their next Victim.